Monday, March 07, 2005

2 Blue 2 Blog

Half-finished things from Saturday that I've been too discouraged to clean up before posting...

People, people, people: A friend was on a semi-rant the other day about the right-wing Stepford parents at her kids' school, and how difficult it was for her to make friends locally. She noted how wonderful it was when she finally went to a party at a home that wasn't perfectly cookie-cutter, with lesbians and people of color in attendance--diversity, finally! And while I agreed with her wholeheartedly, wouldn't it be in fact more "diverse" to socialize with those who are *not* similarly politically inclined people, whether of different colors, orientations, what have you, or not? It's a challenge to find those situations and be comfortable within them.

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A haiku from M:

Morning frustration
Hard river of 101
Dream change, live work


(For those of you unfamiliar with the nutty highway system here in sunny California, the 101 is the sputtering, hardening artery that seeps north from the Bay Area to our neck of the woods.)

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Didn't You Read My Blog? At dinner the other night, the friend I was with was a gracious conversationalist, asking me all about how things were, the wedding, etc. Usually, this friend and I get together with a couple of other old friends, extroverts all but me, so I have a hard time getting a word in edgewise normally, and I appreciated being drawn out. But then a horrid thought edged into my brain unbidden, and I wish I could un-think it: "Don't you read my blog?"

I do write my blog mostly for family and friends to keep up with me, but I feel guilty that I would expect anyone to read it. Especially since it's still a little weird for me to hear comments about my posts in person from people I know and love.

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It's a California morning to crow about. Days of rain have cleared the atmosphere and dashed plum blossoms to the ground in drifts of tender frost. Bright yellow fields of mustard are absolutely spectacular. The iris in my yard are raising their emerald arms sunward, Vs for victory, for peace, flower power.

I woke up today at 4 o'clock, stressing a bit about work, in a bit of a fog due to too much sauvignon blanc last night*. But there was also something very wonderful about becoming conscious in the crepuscular light. It felt for a time as if the room was completely disembodied from the rest of the world, and I was floating in a void with only bird calls, breathing, and twenty pounds of warm dog pressed against me.

*Date Night at a bar in the achingly quaint town of Healdsburg, where we heard one of M's professors play in a good cover band with other attorneys.

3 Comments:

At 7:42 AM, March 08, 2005, Blogger Nancy said...

"Didn't you read my blog?" - um, I've actually said that out loud.

 
At 9:04 AM, March 08, 2005, Anonymous Julia said...

A couple things here to respond to:
1) re: socializing with "the other side"--although I totally sympathize with your friend and sometimes feel like the total weirdo bohemian parent compared to a lot of those 'Marin Moms", I also agree with you that it takes courage, and is sometimes more challenging/diverse to see what silver lining you can find with the people you're surrounded by. Sometimes I have been pleasantly surprised what good people I've found when I "scratch below the surface" of the so-called perfect looking ones.
2) "Don't you read my blog?"--I find myself occasionally irritated with friends that I know don't read my blog, having to explain myself all over again when it would just be so much easier if they all kept up with my blog. But yet you're right, sometimes when people *do* indicate that they've read my blog, it feels weird. You can't win. ;)
3) You used the word crepuscular in a sentence, beautifully and naturally. I love you. Your descriptions of your daily environment are always so kick-ass. I am your humble disciple.

 
At 10:40 PM, March 08, 2005, Blogger Rebecca said...

I read your blog!!

And it's for so many reasons. To stay caught up, to laugh, to empathize with you and the pre-wedding stress, to spend time in your garden, and to "hear" your words.

 

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