Monday, November 28, 2005

Thanksgiving, Darkness

It was a good, restful few days up on the Mendocino coast with family over Thanksgiving. Though I must confess: I was actively avoiding thinking too deeply about life in general. And even though I was very glad to see everyone--mom and stepdad, brother and his family, stepbrother and his squeeze--I wasn't as grateful as I usually am for the time to connect with loved ones. I suspect I'm just a little too thanked-out lately, still numbed and recovering from that Hebdomas Horribilis, as my cousin called it, earlier this month. (We came home to the final hospital bills last night, and between those and the car, the first week of November was a $35,000 week. OK, I am still humbled and grovelingly grateful for insurance.)

I did post a few photos.

However, it's unlike me and difficult *not* to be in my own head this time of year. I wake up in the dark. Drive to work in the dark. Drive home in the dark. It's like living in a dream, or nightmare, gazing out at the real, light-filled world only from my work cubicle window. Thanksgiving has already come and gone, Christmas and New Year's and the winter solstice are bearing down with frightening speed. Tis the season of Retrospection for me. I've got to make some time to sit back with a beer or two and mope about all of the things I *didn't* do:

- YA novel--check
- Essay writing--uh-huh. I'm sensing a theme here...
- Finish the bathroom remodel--yep, still no showerhead (God, we've got to finish that after M's midterms--that's all that's left, for FSM's sake!)
- Entertained more--surely you're joking, the wedding just knackered me for human interaction
- Knit nearly enough

One good thing I didn't do this year? Put away the Christmas lights from last year. I was in the garage thinking what a hassle it would be to get the house decorations out again when I noticed the dusty but gleaming ropes of icicle lights piled up on the hood of the hotrod (it's so sad how we've humiliated that beautiful machine, treating it like an enormous closet shelf). So maybe we'll get around to decorating the house after all. We may even put up a tree this year, since Tomcat is no longer around (sniff) to wreak havoc with my pretty delicate ornaments. He woulda, too, the little bastard.


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