Sunday, November 21, 2004

The wind picked up as we walked the dog in the field last night, and hasn't abated. The sky is scrubbed clean blue today, and there's a feeling like something is going to happen, like the wind will bring something, or shake something unexpected out of the trees.

Something did happen last night. Driving back to our pad after walking the dog, we noticed a distinct absence of illumination on our block. The power had gone out. M went out for burritos ("Hold the sour dress, wedding dress...") since we couldn't cook in our fabulous AEK, and we hit the sack early. Like at 6:30 p.m. M dialed up and read the news to me. We were thinking of putting a movie into the laptop, but M feel asleep instead. Like at 7:00 p.m. The lights came on soon after, and I listened to KQED while knitting obsessively. I was ready to turn out the lights at 10:00 p.m., but This American Life came on, so I knitted for another hour. My hand is a little sore today from the repetitive motion, abetted by my stupidity of trimming the roses yesterday afternoon glove-free. My, those heritage roses have sharp claws. Makes me give a few more props to the rose in The Little Prince ("J'ai mes griffes" I recall her saying to him as proof that she can defend herself without help from him.)

So today I sit contentedly in the AppleBox cafe with the PWG gals, all of us typing on our "chiclets" (iBooks) as Julia calls them. I just drafted a review of a DVD my friend loaned me "Throwing Curves" about industrial designer/decorative artist Eva Zeisel. I covet her work much more now. I have a few other DVD reviews, too--perhaps I'll start a little reviews section on my blog. I'd like to review "Middlesex" cuz I loved it so much, but I read it a few months ago, so I don't know if I can do it justice now.

Yesterday was a very productive day. M was bushed (too much sleeping while he was sick made gave him a bit of insomnia), but was up for bathroom renovation research, so we hit three of the big home stores in the area. We found just about everything we needed and that satisfied my limited design desires and budget, but the shower stall issue is depressing. We found a cheap one-piece stall that's not too hideous or expensive, but will we be able to get it in the bathroom door? We admired another stall in three pieces that would be much easier to wrangle, but it's *$600* more. Criminy. That's a bundle I'd rather save for some other project. Like, oh, say, the wedding. (Hah, I just typed "weeding." Freud, what wouldst thou say?)

Think I'll have a snack now and get ready to head over to another galpal's house who lives here in town. I don't spend much time with her, and since I'm so close, I invited myself over to her house when we made the BIC (butt in chair--ie writing time) date. I can hang out with her and her cute kids and get some addition thoughts for the essay on being child free that I'm working on.

Later that evening...

Friend and I didn't hang out too much at her place. We took a hike/stroll at a local park, and it was lovely--we didn't need our sweaters after climbing the first hill. Wonderful views of the hills that will be covered with dense homesites in just a few years...

Back home, M. and I settled into our Sunday blues evening. The neighbors have been gone for several days, leaving their dog. I peeked over the fence, and he was out of food and water. I slipped him a couple of biscuits. Perhaps they've had someone checking on him (he certainly seems active and healthy), but I have a scheme for M. to get food and water to him today if the neighbors don't return. We tried to watch Monster, but it was just too depressing. We read in bed instead, and I started feeling quite sad, as I often do on Sundays.

But this was a bit deeper. I'm worried that M. will be serially unemployed. He's smart, funny, capable, devoted to me, and has recently made some good moves regarding his health that have made me so happy. But I suspect that he's allergic to work. And he certainly enjoys spending any cash he can lay his hands on. Money shouldn't matter, right? But it does matter to me, very much. Can I blame it on being a Virgo? I'm resentful that he didn't plan financing his schooling very well, and couldn't stick out his sales job for the sake of his degree. I worry that he'll get out of school, deeper in debt, and instead of raking in the cash that a good lawyer should, he'll never quite find a job that's right for him.

That's four years from now--why am I getting torqued about it now? My horoscope advises me to still my mind and I think that's good counsel for now. Supposedly that will cause the universe to surrender, and I could really use a good universal surrender right about now.

Thanksgiving is this week, and I need to do just that. It's also M.'s and my 10th anniversary as a couple, certainly a milestone that deserves celebration and reflection.


At 10:18 AM, November 23, 2004, Blogger Rebecca said...

Happy Anniversary! It is a milestone, and you're right to recognize it. It's always hard to trust that the money thing will work out, but I bet your influence (not pestering, or anything - just you being you) will help M. do the right, (and stable and fiscally responsible) thing. Hang in there. And in the meantime, keep writing! I really enjoy reading whatever you feel up to sharing about your life. Thanks for posting it.


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