Land of the Living, Land of the Lost

I'm feeling better after the death of Tomcat. (Though of course I now have guilt about feeling better.) Haven't cried for a few days straight, though I almost lost it when I passed the vet's office yesterday while running errands, and again just now when I was reviewing what I didn't blog. The clinic sent me a sympathy card, which I thought was nice. I feel bad for M--he has to take Rex in for his rabies shot there soon. Well, maybe it's good to return to positive associations with the clinic. Another silver lining has come of Tomcat's demise: Pookie and Veronica are much happier. Pook in particular, since one of Tomcat's morning rituals was to chase her around the living room. She's a pretty twitchy beast to begin with, so now there's one less thing for her to be freaked out about.

And there's that usual side benefit of experiencing something's death: increased gratitude for what's left behind. While digging Baby's grave under the oak (with a good view of the birdfeeder), the grass and sky seemed more luminous than usual. Veronica's ponderous weight in my lap these last few days was even more comforting. While the vision that I had had of our future (household harmony when the older girlkitties passed painlessly and Rex and Tom were our furry happy comforts in an unending curl on the bed) is shot, I remember that the future is unknown to me. I am not invincible, and neither are my loved ones. Cherish, cherish all.

Thank you again, everyone, for your sympathy. And Barbara, your photos are wonderful, thank you for sharing.

*****

Many wedding planning milestones were achieved in the last few days. Blessed be less stress. Invitations are out, the balance of the rental fee is in the mail to the reception spot, and wonder of wonders, I bought The Dress yesterday. I was sad that Mom wasn't with me, but she'll come down for the alteration and adornment phase. Now, if only M and I can decide on the ring engraving...

*****

I viewed my first Bollywood movie the other day, Taal, and really enjoyed it. Some of the editing was a little odd, and I really wished I knew more about Indian mores--what's considered risque, etc. But the music is very catchy--I still have the theme song running through my mind, which is to be expected since I think it samples the Macarena and Saturday Night Fever.