"I Believe in Love"

Those were the sage words spoken by Doug, our officiate, as M and I sat in a cafe with him in Chico on Wednesday afternoon. Trim, good-looking, thoughtful, engaged, reassuring, he seemed very genuine in his excitement to be marrying us in 26 days, which was contagious. He's a good choice for us. I only pray that if he decides to mention family members by name, he matches the right parent with the right step-parent...

Ryan's Shark Teeth
Originally uploaded by suzipaw.

The trip to Chico was a weight off my mind. The fridge is safely at my brother's, along with other items. We were able to spend a few moments with my brother and his family. We met with the caterers on our way out of town on Thursday morning, and solved a few issues (no thanks to the company owner, who was came with the contact I had been working with and was pretty negative about almost everything). Now my only real worry is fitting everyone into the Victorian home where we're having the ceremony. But que sera, sera.

Our vows are due to Lisa, the ceremony-coordinating gal, on June 1, but I'm not going to make that date. Well, the main part is done, but not the pledges M and I will make to each other. I've made a few drafts, and I'm here at the Box with the angels, awaiting the other writergroupgals for inspiration. I didn't leave myself enough time for revisions for the June 1 deadline, and I don't want to make any changes at the last minute because Lisa will be making a "keepsake copy" for us, and I want it to be the same as what we actually say.

Thinking about what I want to say to M when we marry has been a very worthwhile and introspective exercise--what it is about him that makes him the right guy for me for (hopefully) the rest of my life. It's been a little bittersweet too, bringing up memories of my first marriage. But I'm also ready to be married again, and that feels...wonderful? A relief? I'm not sure how to describe this process of preparing emotionally to become a wife again. Sometimes the sheer busyness of the event planning part pushes all that down, but I welcome and want to honor our official joining of hearts--and really let myself feel it all. It's why I welcome ritual in my life, and wish I had more, to remind myself how lucky I am. Maybe I should get my horseshoe necklace fixed...

Just before we left for Chico, I received good news: my dress came in a week earlier than scheduled. And my seamstress was able to move up my appointment for this Wednesday rather than next. So I'm a week ahead, woo!

Warning: Ladies Undergarment Description Ahead
If this embarrasses you, apologies, and please skip down to the next section.
So I picked up The Gown Thursday afternoon upon our arrival home from the Chico excursion. Fits great from the waist down, but even the smaller size I ordered based on the store model needs lots of taking-in on top. (One small, so to speak, wedding gripe: While I'm glad I've taken off a few pounds recently thanks to the Engagement Diet, any whisper of cleavage I once might've possessed has now gone completely mute.) So on my way home from the bridal shop, I stopped at both local Macy's plus a Gotteshalk's, searching for just the right undergarments. This added up to hours of scuttling awestruck through the full-figure sections, flipping through the slip and half-price racks (how can they charge so much for so little?), and palpating bras for the proper amount of padding--I want to look smooth, but not like I've been surgically enhanced, even though that's the look du jour. There's something very ladies-clubby about the underwear section in department stores, which must also be present in beauty salons, but since I don't frequent them, I wouldn't know. I kind of liked it, but the enormous pile of "special occasion" lingerie the gals in front of me were purchasing is completely beyond my ken. But I found the right pieces in the right colors for the right prices, so I'm happy--and prepared for the dress fitting in a few days.

Sorry, it's just the wedding channel here at Flying Triangle, all wedding, all of the time. Did I mention the wedding is coming up in 26 days? Two six. Yikes.

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In other news, yesterday was a good day for M. Six weeks after his finals for last semester, he finally received his grades (par for the law school course), and did very well. I drove to his place of employment and "served" him the envelope. He actually jumped up and down and whooped, which was pretty cute--he's a big guy. We're having a couple of friends over tonight for BBQ to celebrate. (The burning question is, will Coy's mighty bark puncutate our entire evening?)

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Finally watched "Sideways" in its entirety last night. I was trying to keep my expectations low since everyone had been raving about it, but it was indeed excellent. An interesting movie to watch before one's own nuptials. M observed that our own wine country setting is much prettier.

I also time-splurged yesterday and watched a few episodes of "Sex and the City"--during the day, no less! Hey, I was multitasking--while watching and mooning over NYC, I did some reps with the exercise tubing and it also kept me from doing chores before all twenty of my nails were adequately dry. (Why oh why did it take me so long to realize that if you have ugly funky toenails, varnishing them makes them cuter?)

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The Great Wall of Sweet Peas is yielding a bouquet a day. The late rain earlier this month has made the rust bloom on my front roses, so I've got spraying and feeding to do tomorrow. I'll pull out the fading snapdragons and put in dwarf dahlias--less work for next year. My full-size purple-tinged yellow dahlia is doing beautifully, as is the blood-red poppy I planted in memory of Tomcat. Deadheading and flower arranging has become an extremely important part of my life--perhaps it helps to me focus on the transient beauty of a moment, and on something I've waited to see bloom for months.

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Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Who are you remembering this holiday? I'm missing the family reunion in Wilbur, and the annual pilgrimage to the cemetary to put flowers on the family graves.

The neighbors down the lane are having a big party today. I think a grandma lives on one side of the street and her son and his family live on the other. Though they have back yards, they gather and socialize out front in their driveway, and on both sides the homes are lavishly--dare I say garishly--landscaped will all manner of sculpture, hanging baskets of flowers, fruit trees, and potted plants. So image if you will in this cacophony of flora, the addition of a shiny, garlanded pop-up tent, all sorts of gay decorations, a multitude of lawn chairs, and not one but two port-a-potties. I'm a little jealous...