Friday, July 29, 2005

I'm Packing...

...but I'm just not ready. My indecision about suits vs. outfits, how many casual pieces, the decision to spend a good twenty minutes trying to force a small amount of recalcitrant hair product into a travel-sized vial rather than make another decision--all evidence that I'm just not ready to head out to Portland tomorrow. Evidence of optimism? Tennies and stretchy exercise band waiting patiently to take their place in my luggage.

Where am I this evening? Rex looks like a hen nesting near my pile of toiletries (in order to pack, I must spread everything out on the bed before the origami of clothes into suitcases). The amply amplified singer at the Fairgrounds has finished her rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" to much applause and now the motocross announcer has taken over--how I miss the echoing refrain of "...downdowndown and dirty in the bogbogbog" that used to regularly visit me via the TV. A Commonwealth Club lecture is placidly exiting the radio, describing the failure of our activities in Iraq. M is expected home momentarily, and I'm just not ready for that either. I'm not sure why, or what that means. The bed is still in the middle of packing stage, perhaps.

But I'm looking forward to seeing my aunt, uncle, and cousins tomorrow, though it will be a brief visit overall. My conference? Well, I'll get through it. Though the Magic 8Ball has ordained that no-one will be mean to me, I'm skeptical. Blasphemy, I know. But it was not a good day today at work.

Readers, friends, countrymen, thank you for your kind comments on my blog of last Wednesday. The nature of knowing and friendship is so interesting, is it not--what is relationship, give and take, interaction? Perhaps I didn't explicitly make that point in my screed on popularity, but it kinda boils down to that--another subject to chew on. One thought on that topic that gave me hope today, made my shriveled little introvert heart glow: at the end of step class today--not the one with Barbie, but the one with many close relationships, dramas, socializing, the one where I feel like a newcomer/outsider though I've been stepping with them for almost two years--I was presented with a lovely crystal pitcher (I have a thing for pitchers, though they didn't know) and card from many classmates in honor of my wedding. It was incredibly touching and I almost cried, though I held the tears til now. I'm not sure how to adequately express my thanks to them for their welcome and good wishes.

M has just pulled into the driveway. Til Portland...


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