One Year

So today makes one year of married bliss for M and me. At least, I hope he feels it's been as happy as I think it's been. I'm pretty certain he does. It's Sunday, so it actually feels more like the day after the wedding. I left M snoring in the motel suite and took Rex for a walk around downtown Chico that morning. It was cool, deserted--except for M's brother who drove by in his enormous red pick-up heckling me good-naturedly, parking a ways down the street and stumbling out of his truck wearing the same clothes he'd been in the night before. A very Chico kind of moment, enhanced by the realization that he was legally now my brother-in-law. I felt different that day, though I can't really express how. Nothing really changed but for my ability to add M to my health insurance and the odd tiff we had about his mom addressing the next few letters to us as Mr. and Mrs. Murray Cockerill. I know other people are fine with that, but I never have been. But I love referring to him at "my husband." We don't have any formal anniversary celebration plans for today, but I'm just so glad we'll spend the day together.

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I'm trying not to be too concerned about it and just ride out this current lack of writing wave I'm in, but my lack of both blogging entries and creative writing (I just wrote "writhing" hmm...) output is making me sad. Most of it I blame on work. It's been very busy these last few months and will just get busier--we added three more conferences to our calendar for next year, and I'm actually not sure how I'm going to keep up. So not only is there no time at work to surf around the blogsphere now and again for inspiration and support, there's no mental time for myself. And I'm spending more time at the office trying to not fall too far behind, which means I'm really tired when I come home and don't want to look at the computer for another hour or so. I suppose I could go back to the old fashioned pen and notebook routine, but sitting on the back deck and watching the robins, hummingbirds, vultures, finches, mockingbirds, and occasional hawk or oriole flit about their business is what I most want to do in the evenings. What would I do without the birds?

Well, the question is really, what *will* I do without the birds. M and I went up on the hill behind our house last week to check on the synagogue progress, and came across a fence that the county had put in on the adjacent property, along one side of a proposed street extension that will eventually come to pass. It's not just any street that will go in, but a four lane super street with sidewalks, bike lanes, and a center divider. With street lights. And lots of cross-town traffic. We'd always known it would go in at some point, but weren't really sure exactly where it would go. We were hoping it would be behind the hill and a pleasant stand of large oak trees, so we would still have a bit of a view even if the noise level increased and the last enormous eucalyptus where the hawks like to perch would be cut down. But based on what we saw, the road will take out that little oak grove and will come very close to our back yard, much closer than we'd hoped. I anticipate that we'll have a view of a large sound wall, but the streetlights are what make me saddest. Between those and the synagogue's parking lot lights, I'm sure the few stars we can see now will be completely obscured.

We've been lucky, living here on what used to be the edge of town, no neighbors behind us and a bit of wildlife coming to visit. We had two deer sightings just last week. I'm glad we had these six years, but I wonder if it will be harder when all that's gone, knowing how it used to be.

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On another note of vandalism, we were unpacking our booty from a shopping excursion for our upcoming shindig (see below)--$1 a bottle wine from a winery ridding themselves of the former winemakers stock, and patriotic decorations from Big Lots!, always an interesting experience--when our neighbor knocked. Had we seen the broken window on M's truck? The small side window on the extended cab passenger side was shattered, perhaps from a BB gun---there was a small round hole near the corner where a bit of glass remained. We later learned from another neighbor that there had been other reports of shooting incidents. What's next, the Monster Mobile? Or bedroom window? I'm upset that it's something I have to be concerned about--and yet can't really do anything to prevent.

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Well, now that I'm good and bummed…On a happier note, M and I are planning a big backyard bbq party for next Sunday. And it was my idea, me, the introvert. M fell against the wall clutching his heart when I announced I wanted to do it. I'm thinking of the party as our anniversary celebration. I wasn't sure how many would come--lots of folks are getting out of town for the long weekend, but it looks like we'll have quite a few people. And kids! I have to come up with activities. The potato gun will only distract them for so long.

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Well, time to make waffles and come up with an anniversary appropriate activity. The beach? A summer blockbuster? A trip to Whole Foods for a bag of high-quality fat-producing comestibles? All of the above?